This is a big question. You may agree, you may not agree, that’s totally fine. Here are my thoughts...

When I realised I had a drinking problem, I thought I needed to go to AA (Alcoholics Anonymous). All I knew is that AA was based on religion views, that I have to give myself into a higher power to give me the strength I need to quit, I would go to a meeting with other people, eat crappy biscuits and admit to everyone that I’m an alcoholic and I have a problem.

That was what I thought about AA.

But the idea scared me too much and I decided I wouldn’t go. It was easier to pretend I didn’t have a problem and that I loved myself and my life (which, if you knew what was going on in my head, clearly wasn’t the case).

So I spent another year getting drunk, blacking out, having arguments with my girlfriend, being late to work, never talking to my family, causing a ruckus, disappointing everyone I knew and embarrassing myself. Until I thought "fuck it" and got myself a life coach!

But that’s another story and now we are talking about AA.

Since becoming a life coach, I have learnt a LOT about why we do what we do, our beliefs, our values, the roles we play, the impacts our family, religion, school, culture had on us growing up and how they all can affect us and our behaviour. And so after learning a lot about AA, talking to many people about it who have gone to meetings and reflecting on the 12 steps, I’ve come to be very grateful that I did not go to AA.

In saying that, this post is not going to be bagging out AA in any way, because I know a lot of the work they do is fantastic, they provide an incredibly supportive community and they help many people all around the world stop drinking alcohol. Instead, this post is going to share more about the pros and cons of AA so you can decide whether or not it is a c good choice for you.


"The origins of Alcoholics Anonymous can be traced to the Oxford Group, a religious movement popular in the United States and Europe in the early 20th century. Members of the Oxford Group practiced a formula of self-improvement by performing self-inventory, admitting wrongs, making amends, using prayer and meditation, and carrying the message to others.”- Alcoholics Anonymous

Alcoholics Anonymous Pros

  • Community

  • Widespread

  • Sponsor/Buddy System

Alcoholics Anonymous Cons

  • Can encourage unhelpful limiting beliefs (more about this below)

  • There is not always an AA meeting in your town/location

  • Some provide sugary drinks/snacks and coffee which is not helpful for quitting drinking at all

  • Many say it is judgemental and “creepy”

  • Meetings can be inconvenient located and hard to get to


Let’s first talk about the PRO’s!

Supportive Community

This is by far the best part about AA. You can see how important it is for us to know that we are not alone. Humans have 3 universal fears. The fear of not being loved, the fear of not being good enough and the fear of not belonging. When people think about quitting drinking they may think there is something wrong with them, they are the only one with this problem ad that they’ll have no friends if they quit drinking. A supportive community gives them reassurance that they are not alone, they can have friends that don’t drink, there is someone they can talk to about their problems and they will understand.

Widespread

AA meetings are held all over the world. Today there are more than 114,000 groups in approximately 170 countries.

The AA Sponsor

AA defines a sponsor as “an alcoholic who has made some progress in the recovery program and shares that experience on a continuous, individual basis with another alcoholic who is attempting to attain or maintain sobriety through AA.”

When a person joins AA they can get a sponsor, which is a person who they can contact the they need help, ask questions, have a supportive friend and someone to hold them accountable.

Having a friend that supports you can be SUPER beneficial. I had my coach who was there for me and was the one person I had in my life who cared about me. That was all the support I needed, them being there was invaluable for me. Without her, I would have felt alone, leading me to drink or smoke bongs to feel better.




Now, let’s talk about the CON’s!

Encourages Limiting Beliefs

This is unfortunately the biggest downfall of the 12 Steps. But it is what they base their entire program on.

The 12 Steps

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.

When we believe we are powerless over alcohol, we actually are giving our power away when we don’t have to. Alcohol is an object. It does not force it’s way down our throat, we pick the drink up. We have the power to pick it up and put it down. We have the power to retrain our brains to think differently. If we believe we are powerless to alcohol, we will be. Like the famous quote says “Whatever you believe you will achieve”

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

Firstly, this presupposes that we are insane, or that people who are addicted to alcohol are insane. Secondly, it presupposes that we only a power “greater” than ourselves can restore our sanity (further taking our power away). Even if we do successfully quit drinking alcohol, we won’t believe we did it ourselves, we will believe it was the greater power that did it for us.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

This may not work for people who do not believe in God.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

This may not be such a bad thing, as long as we stay compassionate towards ourselves and not be critical and self-abusive.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

Apologising for our wrong-doings could be quite a healing thing. However, it is not necessary to quit drinking alcohol.

6. We're entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

Whoa! Presupposes hardcore that our character is defected. Presupposes that only God can remove these defects. Again, taking our power away from us.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

Again, presupposes that we have shortcomings. Humans have a fear of not being good enough. These beliefs only draw on this fear of not being good enough. The truth is that we are ALL good enough, we were always good aunt and we always will be. There are no such thing as our shortcomings, who’s standards do we have to live up to anyways? Who has the right to tell us we are not good enough?

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

While potentially damaging to your self-esteem, this could be healing if you wanted to do this, like Earl in “My Name Is Earl” you’ll be spending your entire life doing it! Haha, well for me anyways.

This in itself will not help you quit drinking alcohol. It may help you feel better about yourself for a while.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.


Spiritual awakening is quite subjective and come in the form of having more awareness around life. Having spiritual awakening as a step that is part of the requirement is something I personally do not believe can be forced. It happens when it happens.

Contribution is a wonderful thing, helping other people quit drinking alcohol and turn their lives around it one of the most satisfying things I have ever done. Giving back to others and helping them to do something or overcome a challenge that you have done is one of the best feeling ever and I highly recommend it. It’s a good thing to have good principles. It may not be the best thing though to spread power-sucking principles to all your affairs and other people.

So, these are my thoughts on the self-limiting beliefs that the 12 steps encourage which I do not think helps anyone to quit drinking alcohol. Other beliefs are that “Alcoholism is an incurable disease and can only be managed” is a belief that will fuck you up big time.



My Recommendation

If you do decide to go to an AA meeting, good on you. That is wonderful that you are choosing to be proactive and do something positive for yourself.

But please, be aware of the consequences of believing in the principles they share.

If I were going to an AA meeting, this is how I would do it (and please feel free to believe and do whatever you want):

  • I would go to the meeting and make friends
  • I would find myself 1, 2 or 3 sponsors or non-drinking buddies
  • I would set up regular chats and meetings with them
  • I would decide on the days that work for me and I would go when it suits me, potentially every day at the beginning, and then as I drink less, I would start going less and less, maybe 5 times a week, then 3 times a week, then once a week.
  • I would not drink the coffee or eat the sugary food they may supply
  • I would listen to what they say, I would share my story, I would contribute as much as I can
  • I would pick and choose what I want to believe, I would choose to believe that I am the only one who has the power to choose my thoughts, feelings and actions.


I trust this helps! Let me know what you think and if you have any opinions OR if you disagree with anything. I'd love to hear it!

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