How I Quit Drinking Alcohol

3 days ago my sister and I flew from Bangkok to chiang Mai. I had already lost my GoPro within hours of arriving in Thailand as well as my passport twice, and had caused a lot of extra stress on my sister who had organized the whole trip. I had caused us to rush through our buffet breakfast at the Conrad by being unaware of the time and had told her to "relax Chris" even though I knew how she was feeling!

This wasn't like me, well, not anymore!

For the past few months I have become much more responsible, mature and considerate of other people and I know I am highly capable of doing anything I need to do without help or guidance from anyone. For the last few months I have been flat out determined on taking full responsibility for myself, my life and becoming a better communicator.

But then why was I being so forgetful this last week? Why am I just so hopeless and I keep letting my sister down even though I really don't mean to?

When we finally got to Chris's apartment in Chiang Mai she had a talk to me. She said she wasn't happy that I had wasted so much of her time, been so irresponsible and caused her so much unneeded stress. Her time is valuable and she hates it when it is not respected... I know that, I feel the same way.

I felt terrible and just wanted to repeatedly hit my head against a brick wall. But instead I go for a walk and started thinking about WHY it happened? 

WHY all of a sudden hopeless? 

WHY all of a sudden irresponsible and losing everything important and not helping the situation? 

WHY fall silent when I am around my sister and let her do all the talking?

I felt like I was the little irresponsible sister I always was. The one that needs her big sister to speak for her and tell her what to do.

I thought back to certain parts in books I have read about roles, expectations and relationships, such as, A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle and the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephan R Covey.

All of a sudden, something I had been thinking about the past couple of months about my relationship with my family, just confirmed in my mind.

When I am with my sister I fall back into my role of being a little sister and she falls back into her role of being the big sister. I subconsciously forget all my responsibilities and assume my sister will do everything and Chris subconsciously takes on all the responsibility and feels like she must look after me because I am uncapable of doing anything myself.

However, this way of thinking on both of our parts does not serve us anymore. I do not need looking after, I am highly capable of doing EVErYThInG and I DO NOt need to be treated like an irresponsible pain in my sisters arse. On the other hand my sister needs to understand this and let go of being the bigger sister and trust that I am a fully capable adult and not a child anymore.

When I came back after my long walk, I told her how I felt, and pretty quickly she figured out for herself that it was BOTH of us that needed to change the way we saw each other. Not just me that had to become something else.

The expectations she had for me were low and that's all I lived up to. She excitedly realized what she and I both needed to do and how simple it all was! I am so relieved how easily she understood and am looking forward to a WAY more positive and equal relationship with her.

It's been two days and I have booked my flight back to Bangkok and organized a way for my miraculously discovered GoPro to be returned to me without my sister taking charge. It wasn't that hard, but this time I knew someone else wasn't going to be doing it for me!

Do you subconsciously fall back into roles when you are around someone? It could be a family member, friend, business partner, doctor or anyone you come into contact with.

Have a think about it, your expectations of somebody may be having an impact on how they act around you and vice versa.

"If you treat an individual as he is, he will remain how he is. But if you treat him as if he were what he ought to be and could be, he will become what he ought to be and could be." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe